one week,

it's almost up boy.

i'm obsessed

Innerpartysystem- Don't Stop

with this song! the girl in the video is beautiful.

mommy make me feel better,

i hate not feeling good. HATE IT.
i may visit the doctors soon if i do not get better.

but alas, i'll leave you with some photos,
because i'm drawing blanks in my head;


my toe after the wave last friday, ouch!


mylee being playful at 4 in the morning. <3


the moon when i left for work, so beautiful.


kirk being kirk at work.




=]

I’ll be a Chivers guy some day; In my mind

Today at work my two cop buddies, Mark and Lenny, stopped by for their usual coffee and latte. Mark gave me the usual talk about how he wants me to sign up for school and get my life started so I'm not stuck at Starbucks forever. He said he'd look up hair schools for me that are affordable and such. Lenny is helping me find a new, more reliable car this weekend, or at least sometime soon. He and his wife are going along with me to make sure I don't get ripped off again like how I did with my Jetta. So I'm sitting back right now, and it makes me so happy to know how much two random people care so much about me bettering myself. That they are taking the time out of their busy day to stop and help me. It really makes me want to cry, because right now it seems like they're the only elders who do care about me, compared to my family. And it hurts on that aspect, but also feels good that at least they care. I consider them my family. Thanks Mark and Lenny.

"Toi et moi, c’est comme tu sais
Comment mon cœur a succombé"
Mhmm! Good ol' Sebastien Tellier. So true, so true.

the things going through my head right now...
that i shouldn't think about, but i am.
and i can't help but think about; all of the what if's.
and if others are pondering it also.

i apologize for doing this but

i put my septum back in.

=]

it's that point in my life where any decision i make is wrong.
so then i don't decide, which is wrong as well.
i hate growing up.

nouveau

a few "new" things going on;

i'm getting a new kitty tomorrow, this time without the sucking/nursing problem. i already bought food, litter box, and kitty litter again. i'm pretty excited. this time it's going to be a girl. her name is Chanel. i'm definately going to change her name though. she's all black with hints of brown, gotta look close though. i'm not definite i'm getting her. i wrote them a note to put her on hold for when i get off work and then i'll pick her up. so hopefully they'll hold her. if not, i'm sure i'll find a different one. but my hearts out for Chanel.

i'm also looking to trade in my car this week hopefully. the jetta is cute and all, but cute can only go so far. it is unreliable and i've put WAY too much money into fixing it [2,000+] for only having it for a year. word to the wise, NEVER GET A VOLKSWAGON. unless it's a bug, i heard they're good. but not jettas, especially the 2002 jetta 1.8T model which i had. too many bad reviews online. i'm interested in a scion actually. probably a scion xb, 2004-06. that model is the boxy one, which i think is adorable, and semi-trendy. and it has good reviews online. so Lenny [my cop friend] and his wife are going to help me so i don't get jipped again. crossing my fingers.

i also got a new phone recently. it's awesome because i haven't charged it for a day and it still has 3 bars! amazing. the only complaints i have are that one, the vibrates are very low/soft so i don't know i have a text sometimes, and two, the "lock" mode on the front is easy to unlock with my ass, yes my ass. somehow it always unlocks when i have it in my pocket and just calls random people. but that just means i should carry a purse and put it in there or something. idk, but i love the phone, thanks kimmy for suggesting/making me get it.

speaking of kimmy, she's definitley my best friend. she stuck up for me last night, i don't recall anyone ever doing that for me before. they claimed they have, but never have i had someone do it right in front of me. i love her so much. i just really wish i could convince her to move out with me.

today,

i'm nervous
i'm nervous
i'm nervous
i'm nervous
i'm nervous
i'm worried
i'm nervous
i'm nervous
i'm nervous.

PMA? i think not.

the charolette trip; canceled for me because of work, and my mother.

my mom has her court date really soon for when she hit that parked car last month. they extended her trial so she could get a lawyer, but she can't afford one, so she may spend up to 30 days in jail. and to top it off, she wants to kick me out because of it. she said "you and your dog can find somewhere else to live, i don't trust anyone in this house while i'm gone." wtf?

and my self esteem dropped a lot today. i got put down so bad. saying i'm a cry baby and i need to grow up. all i care about is myself and money. that my friends don't care about me, they'll never do anything for me. that my dad and rest of the family in japan don't care about me, and it shows because they haven't written since march. my mom and her bf are losers and have nothing going for them and cant even afford to pay bills. that i have nothing going for me.

and after all of that and me crying for 2 hours straight before work, i was given an apology. and i accepted, because i'm too humble. but my feelings are still hurt.

"can i have a thai chi?"

for crying out loud, it's a Chai Tea Latte.
Thai Chi is an ancient form of exercise, Chai Tea Latte is a beverage.
idiots.

i'm supposed to be going to Charolette this weekend, i've been super stoked.
but work called around 530 saying i have to redo my inventory this sunday.
i mean wtf? i've got some serious persuading to do to get out of it.

i possibly may be getting Mylee a boyfriend, more details about that later.

+ - =

i can already predict the future,
i can't wait until the Charlotte trip,
i need a weekend away.

day walker ginger kid

yes sir, i stripped my hair of the dark brown,
now i'm orange again, which is sweet,
soon i'll be getting it close to my light brown.
ohhh yeahhhh.

i can't get no satisfaction

yeah, i plan on stripping my hair once more, and then trying to get it back to my old color. i just don't want my roots to grow out all light, and i looked at a picture of myself last night from when i was like 18 and realized just how light my natural hair color really is. so yeah, as soon as i make enough money in tips, off to sally's i go!