rest in peace roxy

you will be missed more than you know.

today i went with john to take secret photos.
as in we had to hide on a rooftop and he took pictures of a guy proposing to a girl.
i won't say who, but it was pretty damn cute.
creepy, but cute.


getting my dance on tonight, oh yes.

I can't say enough about how much I love Velveeta shells and cheese. Not only do I love the taste, but I love how I've had nothing but good memories to go along with it. Like for instance, my former roommate Natalie. It was the only thing her and I could agree on to eat. I hated hamburgers, she loved them, I loved veggies, she hated them. Velveeta was an easy pleaser. And it was ridiculous how much we ate of it a week, close to everyday. Man I miss Natalie, although she got annoying at times because she acted like my mother, she was just doing it out of love. Her and I were so opposite, and when I say opposite, I mean as opposite as opposite can get, but we got along so well. I miss when I'd be watching Ghost Hunters and eating chips and dip, and she'd come home complaining about work and being pregnant. I'd do anything to have her move back to the states. And I like how this entry went from Velveeta to Natalie.

all that needed be said today is;

FUCK OBAMA.

I couldn't agree more with Julia's "the reality is" bulletin.

but fuck McCain too. I don't think anyone is really smart enough to pull us out of what we're in now. Someone may have the smarts to help dig us out slightly, but not completely. But helping lazy ass fucks who don't want to get off their ass and work, who just depend on welfare, is not my idea of digging us out.

Barack Obama looks like a monkey, his wife looks like the devil, and the kids I just want to flat out punch in the face because they look like brats. Not that McCain was any better, he looks like a turtle. And no I'm not complaining, I'm just saying. I didn't vote so I have no room to complain, they both would have fucked up.

Court tomorrow. Oh yay, oh yay. I can't wait to see Rob. [sarcasm] Personally, I'm sorry that that cop guy died and all, but I don't give a fuck. [not sarcasm] I didn't know him, I didn't know the kid who killed him. All I'm doing in confirming that Rob had ahold of pot plants that POSSIBLY may have belonged to that other kid, but I'm also confirming that he got rid of them. So why the fuck do they need me? I'm sorry but the case is blown way out of proportion, people die every day. They just care more because the guy was a cop, which makes him more important than anyone else. Right? Uh no. Sorry if I offend anyone, or if anyone knew him, two of my good friends are cops, so I'm not all anti-cop. Once again, I'm just saying.

I'm expecting my glasses in a few days. I'm so excited. I got one big old person pair, and a regular thick frame pair. I'm bummed though because I developed an astigmatism over the past two years, nice I'm screwed. Bound to glasses for sure forever.

I'm just full of complaints, and I'm not even pmsing.
Only thing I'm not complaning about is that John has wasted his gas the past four, and this weekend will make it five, weekends in a row that he's drove down to see me. And it means a lot.

011409

i've had an obsession with schweppes ginger ale lately, it's so good. i wish they served it at 3 amigos, something about drinking a nice crisp caffeine free soda with my nachos with chicken and beans excites my taste buds. i usually drink sprite with my meal, partially because i'm not a fan of caffeinated soda, let alone any soda really. but i don't enjoy my meal much with just a water or fruit juice. with mexican food you need that bubbly goodness that makes you burb so you feel like you have more room to eat. but i would prefer schweppes ginger ale instead, yes!

i'm pending on my w-2 form to arrive at work. i got back 950 last year, so i expect more this year since i make more and have worked more hours and plenty of overtime which means the more taken out, the more i'll be getting back. i want to pay off my lap top, order my 2 bathingsuits and glasses i want from american apparel, get some new outfits, buy a cool couch for john and my apartment for august, and put some asside in another checking account strictly for the apartment. and any other left over money from each of my paychecks are going in that account aswell. and i'm working on switching car insurance because 250 a month is way too much for my driving record. and i'm also working on trading in or selling my car, depending on how much i could get for a trade in. if not i'm gonna sell my car for close to what i owe and switch it to a signature loan for the left over amount, extend it and get a new, cheaper, more reliable car. and i've also lowered my phone bill by like 20 dollars since i was paying for minutes i don't use.

and lastly, i need to go platinum at work. it'll give me a 5% raise. and then when my year raise comes up in april i'll get another 3% raise. bringing me a little over 2,300 a month before taxes. and even with almost 200 getting taken out of my paycheck a week for taxes and health insurance i'll still be left with a decent amount which will be good. especially once i pay off my laptop i'll have that extra 100 a month. and then if i lower my insurance, and get a better car that i don't have to fix ever 2 months, i'll have plenty of money to afford rent, utilities, my usual bills, groceries, and then some. and after i have all of this set, i'll look into school. still hair school, so i can get my license in less than 2 years [because i'd have to do it part time] and then get my foot in the door on a career.

a lot of things going on, sad that money is the base, but i'm enjoying planning my future.

jealousy in the air

one major thing that has been bugging me the past 3, going on 4 months is my dog seems to love john more than me. since the first day she met him, anytime he comes over or i bring her to richmond, she is all over him and treats me like yesterdays news. the only times she'll come to me if he's around is if i have food in my mouth because she knows i usually share with her, which i have not been lately because of my jealousy. i mean, i bought her with my own money, i feed her, i bath her, i take care of her, i treat her like my child, sometimes too much like my child. i don't get it.

like for instance, i just took this picture of her sitting under a chair that his bag of clothes are sitting on top of. and right now he's at dinner with his parents. she has been sitting there for the past 4 hours almost. i've moved her, tried putting her under the covers with me, but she just gets up and goes back to that spot.


the thing that makes me laugh is that i don't get upset or jealous if john talks to another girl, but i get jealous when my dog pays more attention to him than me. ridiculous.

damn straight you do.

decisions 09

i want gauges again. no bigger than zeros. not on a girl at least.
i don't know why really, i remember enjoying the pain of going the next size up.
but i like any pain of that sort, hence why i've had my nose pierced 3 different ways.
my septum is still alive and kicking, although i don't wear it much, only when i feel.
i also kinda miss my double rings on my nostril, i've given that thought as well.
and i can't decide if i want to put my belly ring back in or not, that hole will never close.
so the decision i need to make is;
keep septum?
or get my double rings back?
or put my belly ring back in?
or gauge my ears again?
or none, but none is too boring!

and i want to add more to my whale, without shading the damn thing in black.
that'd be too much.

this was a dumb entry.
HEY CHELSEA, geek out at this.

vous et nul autre

a promise i've made and will keep.
it's funny to sit and think about how i've changec and settled down these past few months.
i feel like i don't need to hangout with anyone as long as i have john. i have no desire.
and no, he doesn't make me, he tries to push me to, but i just see no need.
it's like i'm ready for my real future to begin. i'm ready to settle down more than i have.
i've given school a good deal of thought, next classes start in march, something to look at.
i've decided my career path, even though i'm doubtful, john's right, i won't know until i try.
i got a raise at work, and i only have to work 40 hours now so it gives me more time for it.
i'm semi-ready for a kid, not financially but i wouldn't care really.
i've already had a few "scares" from being over a week late, but i'm not actually scared.
God will let it happen when He feels we're ready.
the one thing i'm sure about, johns the only one for me.