TAPS

just finished season four part 1. i just can't ever get enough of this show.
thank you john, this was one of the many awesome gifts he got me, knowing i'm a huge fan.
i can't wait until season four part 2 goes on DVD.
i still have to get seasons 1 2 and 3 back from other people, if not i'll just re buy them with my tax return.
bottom line, i love ghost hunters. i want one of their t-shirts.

mmmm, new years eve tomorrow.

get ready

for the last dance of '08.
i'm actually bringing my camera this time,
and corey and david!
stoked.

Dear Atlantic Shores,

well my dad and i were talking after church today, about what people said about me when i first transferred from lake taylor to there, what they assumed i was going to end up like after graduation, and it makes me think of how fucked up and judgmental most christians are these days.

like for instance, 10th grade i dated the pastors son. his parents didn't agree with it because i was at a secular school at the time and thought i'd corrupt their poor boy. [which honestly coming from lake taylor i was a pretty good kid, asside from my attitude problem] but with that said, weren't they the ones who left the church recently because the pastor was close to having an affair?

another thing, a few of my fathers friends and coworkers at the church said i was going to go downhill after graduation and get into trouble. sure, i drank a few times from the time i was 19 until 21, but only one smirnoff malt beverage here and there, however, i didn't do it enough times to count on all ten fingers. AND, i didn't have my first legal drink at 21 until about two weeks after my birthday. yes, for about a month or two i went crazy and drank more than twice a week, but who doesn't at first? i can say i wasn't too bad because shortly after i cut it down to once a week at the wave and stopped talking to these people slowly but surely [and one recent incident cut me from them completely], and now i've even cut it down to like once or twice a month i drink, which is when i go to the wave with john. but again, to these people, correct me if i'm wrong but, half of the people from my graduating class and the year under have gotten into drugs, got knocked up and had a kid, and i know one person disrespected his mother and doesn't even talk to her. i can proudly say i have not fallen into any of that.

and now they look down on me because i haven't been to church in like 2 years. the only reason i don't really think twice about going to that church is because some are so quick to form an opinion or rumor about someone, but can't look in the mirror and judge themself first. so to all the people of atlantic shores who said shit and still do, fuck you and get over yourselves!

gimme disss

mhmm, mitchell davis.

john should be coming over at about 930 and we'll have a late dinner with my faja. i've been practicing cooking with my pops, so i'm gonna test my skills for john. hopefully i don't kill him. and i'm forcing him to open his presents early just because i can't wait, i'm too excited.

and tomorrow i'm venturing back out to the wave, i left my coat there 2 weeks ago, hopefully the guy saved it like he said he would. we're supposed to meet up with macie and kayla, and probably sarah and her boyfriend and scott. it'll be fun. even though i have to open the next day, but what's new.

i'm coming out

i'm done being a hermit crab, i'm missing out on too much.
just finding out what's been going on with people i used to hang with like 2 years ago,
kinda made me laugh and also left me thinking "wtf, are you serious?!"
but i'm just ready to get out and have fun again.
i just need to learn how to call people back and stop being so selfish.

my dad is on a mission to help me gain weight.
he says i've lost a lot in the past year since he's been gone.
so by summer i should be more filled out again and in shape. stokeddd.
i still need to order that bathingsuit i want to get me more stoked.

seriously summer i have a lot to look forward to;
long hair, nice bod, sweet bathingsuit, surfing with the dad, john moving back.
oh boy!

animal party

excuse my last post, i was in a bummed mood.


excited for the weekend, using the rest of my vacay time to see john.
painting, shopping, exploring, and eating my chips and dip is in store and i'm stoked.

my hair is finally getting past that 'in between' stage and i'm able to do more with it.
the sides can basically fit in my ponytail now so i'm happy.
summer it should be so long considering my hair grow reasonably fast.
mmmm.

xmas and the new year needs to pass by quick, i'm ready for the beach again.


my animals!

i'm a bitch.

i got the boyfriend, the dad, the dog cat and fish.
fuck all the rest.

rumors confirmed

ed is home.
and i couldn't be more happier.
well i will be friday when john comes home and gets to meet him.

rumor has it

my dad is back, and if that's true, well consider me the happiest girl in the world right now.

i have accepted that

my life will never be the same as it was 2 months ago;
i have fucked up 3 friendships that i'll never achieve back no matter what i could do;
i will probably have a low social life from here on out;
i am lazy and have not been putting forth effort in my future career;
my hair has lost its natural curl;
etc etc.


shame on me daddy, shame on me.

the only things that are keeping me going currently is i'm moving back in with my dad when he comes back this month. it means quality time with him because my step mom and siblings don't come back until august. august also means when i finally move back out on my own again. of course my animals will be coming along.

but still, those are not enough.
i understand why my mother tried killing herself a month or so ago, she told me she was lonely, i thought she was nuts, but the way i feel now i can semi-relate.
and no, this isn't me saying i'm going to attempt to kill myself.
i just wish there were things i could do to make up for the decisions i've made that have hurt those 3 people. [1. teagan 2. kelly 3. kimmy]
i wish we could all just forgive and forget, but who am i kidding?
and because of all this i really have no one to talk to, run to, whatever.
i just get that sense that no one likes me anymore.
of course i have john, but he has his friends too,
but what do i have exactly? my animals?